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Joke of the Day

"I have read so many things about the impact of smoking and drinking alcohol I think I will quit reading soon."

"Why does Calvin Harris like reading fairy tales? He loves a good happy ending"

"I read quantum physics magazines for the particles."

"Why so many conservative white Americans voted Obama? Old whites on their deathbeds saw ""the light"" people so often experience when they approach death, and accidentally voted for it."

"Reposts. What is the only thing that the r/Jokes community hates more than punchlines in the title?"

"My grandfather went to the doctor The doctor said he has the body of a 21 year old, who smokes, drinks, and does hard drugs."

"[on a date with a teacher] Me: your eyes are beautiful Her: yours too Me:*leans in, whispers* can i kiss you Her: i don't know CAN YOU"

"""Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? "" Because they're really good at it"

"Did you hear that Jared from Subway might have been involved with child pornography? Sounds like he was just trying to beat fresh."

"[NSFW] How do you tell if your Billy Idol fan girlfriend has a Three Stooges fetish? In the midnight hour she cried ""Moe! Moe! Moe!"""