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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] How do you tell if your Billy Idol fan girlfriend has a Three Stooges fetish? In the midnight hour she cried ""Moe! Moe! Moe!"""

"A fox: People aren't so bad. I hear they named a news station after us. [Watches 1 minute of Hannity] We attack the humans at dawn."

"I've never had angry sex. I'm always happy and quite surprised that it is actually happening."

"My neighbor knocked on my door at 2 am this morning and said, ""Yo, I can't fcking sleep."" ""Well it's your lucky day,"" I said, ""I've got a party going on in here, come in."""

"A man shows up to his psychiatrist completely naked but covered with saran wrap... Psychiatrist says, ""I can clearly see you're nuts!"""

"Gay Mafia Did you hear about those two gay guys in the mafia? One whacked the other one. http://earlmcgerd.tumblr.com/"

"I have an evil masterplan; I'm going to drill a huge hole through the Moon and thread a massive piece of string through it. Then I will finally be able to conker the World."

"I need some help with my Halloween costume. I'm dressing up as Ebola and I want to make sure everyone gets it."

"How do you see countries neighboring Russia? Ukraine your neck."

"Me: I wouldn't miss it for the world. Friend: It was yesterday."