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Joke of the Day
"Drinking a beer is great, but opening another one is awesome."
Next Joke
"Another blonde joke A blonde tells her husband 'I've been thinking' He replies 'Take two aspirin, the pain will clear right up'."
"The 3yo insisted on helping me put all the laundry away. It's only taken us 6 hours & 10 minutes & apparently pants go in the fridge now."
"A psychic midget broke out of prison The official police report warned of a small medium at large."
"What do you call an angry German? A sauerkraut"
"A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""I'll serve You, but don't start anything."""
"*calls boss* Me: I can't come to work. Boss: Why not? Me: Gotham city needs me. Boss: ...You're not Batman. Me: Oh, yes, yes, exaaaactly."
"I've been with my girlfriend for 5 years... .... so her dad was very surprised when I proposed. He had no idea I was gay."
"What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden? A seizure salad"
"i'm a homewrecker in the sense that i got sick out both ends in the attic and it soaked through the ceiling in 3 different rooms"