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Joke of the Day

"I think my neighbor's dog is in heat. She's been crying the last 2 nights. I may need to take one for the team if I want to get some sleep."

"What is a bee's favourite classical music composer ? Bee-thoven !"

"I liked the movie Taken better the first time I saw it when it was called Finding Nemo."

"[Pulled over] Sir do you know how fast you were going? MY DOG IS IN LABOR! Oh! In that case *scribbles* Here is a ticket for littering."

"The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room."

"Why did Hitler commit suicide? He got his gas bill"

"I like my fractions with me on top, and a common yourmominator on bottom."

"what's food backwards? vomit"

"On the one hand, when I masturbate, I feel like I'm cheating on my wife... ...but on the other hand, I don't."

"Why did the Jews hate Jesus? Because he gave away salvation for free."