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Joke of the Day
"My wife tried to make antimatter in the kitchen But she ran out of counterspace"
Next Joke
"What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese"
"A nurse comes in and tells a doc... ...""there's a man in the waiting room that thinks he's invisible. What should I tell him?"" Doc says, ""Tell him I can't see him today."""
"Superman: I'm my own worst enemy. Lex Luthor: oh. That's nice. I'm literally standing right here."
"Looked up the oldest trick in the book... It just showed me who the first man to patronize a prostitute was."
"Murphy said to his daughter ""I want you home by eleven o'clock."" She said ""But Father I'm no longer a child!"" He said ""I know that's why I want you home by eleven."""
"GHOST: I'm here to warn you to change your ways before it's too late POLTERGEIST: I'ma open your cupboards"
"If zombies ever do attack, I'll just skip coffee that morning. They'll leave me alone because they'll think I'm one of them."
"Stood in very long line today at the DMV behind James Bond renewing his license to kill... shouldn't they have a separate line for that?"
"What's the difference between America and yogurt? One has culture."