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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple waits until your 12 to come on your face"

"People say I'm condescending... That means I talk down to people."

"We decided to name our unborn child something that represents where it was conceived. Only 7 more months until baby Uber is born!"

"Fortune Cookie: You will go on a date with a beautiful woman. She could do so much better."

"If you have 100$, and your girlfriend has 100$. Your girlfriend has 200$"

"drinking game: take a shot every time the futility of your existence depresses you"

"I wanted to tell an NSA joke... But I feel like they've heard them all before."

"If your girl tells you ""Deeper!"" and that's all you got, just start reading poetry."

"why aren't there any good jokes about the dark side? i dunno but there's a darth of them"

"What's Harry Potter's favorite way to go down a hill? Walking...JK, Rolling!"