182061
Joke of the Day
"drinking game: take a shot every time the futility of your existence depresses you"
Next Joke
"Every since my Grandma discovered Netflix she's been calling me w/ suggestions like ""ok write this down, it's called Friends, F-R-I-E-....."""
"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one cares.. But use chemicals to remove Polish and you're literally Hitler."
"[ER] ME: [scared] well? DOCTOR: ur ok M: so it was just a dream D: o no ur body is filled with lizards but ur system is accepting them"
"If you ask your hair dresser for the Zooey Deschanel... You're really just getting more bang for your buck."
"What did Gorbachev say when the USSR collapsed? ""So ve it."""
"Why should you tell bad jokes to cocaine addicts? Because they'll crack up anyways"
"Why did Adele cross the road? To say ""hello"" from the other side. ::mic drop::::"
"Getting a hard-on is the only way I can get my wife to leave me alone."
"What do you call a friendly Mancunian midwife? Ultra sound"