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Joke of the Day

"Some people are too chipper early in the morning. They don't realize how bad it is for their health.....until I'm choking them"

"What do you call it when an oyster takes a picture of itself? A shell-fie"

"How do sharks like their steak? Whale-done :)"

"Apparently if your girlfriend or wife ever says ""if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new...."" ""anything"" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic."

"RT if your good at grammar."

"Its such a beautiful day to stay inside and tweet about what a beautiful day it is out there."

"Fighting Fire with Fire Have you ever heard the phrase ""fight fire with fire""? Have you ever actually tried that? I have, you know what happens? You just get a much larger fire."

"Q: What do sneezes wear on their feet? A: Ahhh-shoes."

"Did you hear the joke about jello? Took a while to set in but it sure gave me a jiggle"

"How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You say ""Pikachu, GET THE FUCK ON THAT BUS!"""