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Joke of the Day
"Q: What do sneezes wear on their feet? A: Ahhh-shoes."
Next Joke
"If I were God I would say I'm going to fill the ocean with water but when the Subway employee wasn't looking fill it with Sprite instead."
"Never kick a porcupine wearing flip flops. Cause they're obviously on vacation and why ruin their holiday?"
"Don't forget to put everybody before her so she has no clue whether you really give a shit or not"
"Worrying that ghosts watch you use the toilet is a pretty legitimate concern."
"You're a 10...on the pH scale cause you're basic."
"""Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"" ""That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."" ""Is it common?"" The doctor says, ""It's Not Unusual."""
"Therapist: ""I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know the symptoms?"" Me: ""I can't say I do."" Therapist: ""That's one of them."""
"Knock Knock. Who's there? *Doctor* Doctor who? *Actually, it's just ""the doctor"".*"
"Took my wife away for our anniversary since it wasnt enough for her just to be married to God's gift to every female organism on the planet."