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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber."

"My kids saw a painting of Jesus & both thought it was Bob Marley. Clearly, I'm going to hell. My kids don't know what Bob Marley looks like"

"I want this election to be over so badly you'd think it was a friend's play."

"An electron tried getting into a Nucleus ""Sorry, you wrong sub""."

"I bet you'll watch the cell phone camera footage of this concert for years & remember the fun you had holding up a cell phone at a concert."

"A Catholic Priest and a Rabbi are watching a little boy play... The Priest says, ""I want to screw him."" The Rabbi says, ""Out of what?"""

"Today has been the best day of my life as I am no longer a 30 year old virgin! I turned 31 today."

"I met a Muslim biker once... He was the Sergeant at harams"

"A man goes to the zoo. There's only one animal, a dog. It's a pretty Shitzu"

"Most pencils have erasers But that's beside the point"