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Joke of the Day

"I want this election to be over so badly you'd think it was a friend's play."

"Worst place to buy condoms? A church. They're holy."

"What's green and hurts when it hits you in the eye? A snooker table"

"Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermoine went alone and got attacked by a troll."

"What's for dinner? -A question asked by children who have no intention of eating the answer."

"Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse... but it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom"

"In To A Bar. A priest, a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. he orders a drink"

"The worst part of having to kiss someone is when the coffin lid falls and hits you in the head."

"Most technology problems can be fixed two ways: 1) Turn it off and on. 2) Don't be an idiot."

"Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool so I decided to give him a glass of water."