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Joke of the Day

"I bet you'll watch the cell phone camera footage of this concert for years & remember the fun you had holding up a cell phone at a concert."

"How man nihilists does it take to change a light bulb? It doesn't matter."

"What do you call a disappointing white wine? Prosecc-oh..."

"How do you know when someone's read the Game of Thrones books? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"I am more pissed off than a dragon trying to blow out candles."

"How do you call a meerkat? C'meerkat."

"I bet in Somalia a kid has been like ""I'm so hungry!"" and another's like ""Third world problem!"" and they both laugh and die and stuff."

"Did you hear about the sick ghost? He had oooooo-ping cough."

"TIL I'm hung like a baby. 7 lbs. 9 oz."

"I once met a Republican feminist She told me to Czech my privilege."