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Joke of the Day

"Dear Smart Phone, I would really wish if you spent more time with me than your Charger"

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"What does a pimp and a redneck have on common? They both like to throw a ho-down."
"Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms."
"Women left at the alter near-Mrs"
"Don't say ""ATM machine"". The ""M"" already stands for ""machine"". It's redundant. It's like saying ""end result"" or ""racist Fox News Anchor""."
"My friend broke one of his bones in a funny accident. It was humerus."
"When I was a child, my father would always tell me, ""The sky's the limit!"" He was never supportive of my dreams to become an astronaut."
"So a new company just become the official sponsor of the Special Olympics! Downy! Everybody deserves softer uniforms!"
"I just had sex with a pregnant girl and told my buddies I had a threesome"
"Two men walk into a bar... One of them gets a concussion and the other gets a bruise on his forehead."