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Joke of the Day

"Two men walk into a bar... One of them gets a concussion and the other gets a bruise on his forehead."

"FIFA 16 joke. fifa 16 is going to feature women players for the first time, apparently in the consumables section you will be able to purchase tampons alongside contracts and chemistry styles."

"What do you call a lesbian who also doesn't eat meat? A vagetarian."

"[zoo] Hey dad, where are mountain lions from? *dad panics* -Uhh...you see, son, when a mountain and a lion love each other very much..."

"I bought the wrong kind of compass. Now I'm lost in the middle of nowhere drawing perfect circles."

"Do you know ... Do you know what girls say to guys with big dicks....... **I do...**"

"So where do you see yourself in 5 years? How am I supposed to know, I don't have 2020 vision!"

"This is 2 girls with 1 cup. [A.K.A. Friends At (a) Cafe Bar](http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/photo/friends-at-cafe-bar-high-res-stock-photography/156534295)"

"Last night my wife said to me, ""What would you do without me?"" Apparently, ""Your sister"" was the wrong answer."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."