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Joke of the Day
"Women left at the alter near-Mrs"
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"My high school bully just made my McDouble, so I guess I won; but then again I am eating at McDonald's so I guess it's a tie."
"My sister told me to ""take the spider out"" instead of ""kill"" it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer."
"How many kids does Adrian Peterson have? More than you can shake a stick at"
"Guess what? I fucked your mom"
"Where does a vampire go to buy his sheets and towels? Bloodbath&Beyond"
"I became a vegetarian 4 months ago.. .. I guess you can say that I quit cold turkey"
"To do list: 1) Change Facebook name to 'No One' 2) 'Like' peoples statuses."
"Ughh so pissed off. My mail order bride is pretending she doesn't speak english just so she doesn't have to wear the jester outfit again."
"there're two reasons why i wear a diaper for 1 & 2"