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Joke of the Day

"When I was a child, my father would always tell me, ""The sky's the limit!"" He was never supportive of my dreams to become an astronaut."

"Since Monopoly replaced its tiny iron, the talking mice in my walls now all have wrinkled shirts."

"somewhere two teens in a love triangle are saying ""she faves you, but she RTs me"" to one another"

"My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is getting better!"

"What is long, hard and full of sperm ? The sock under my bed."

"A keytar walks into a bar... And the barkeeper tells him: 'Get lost, we don't serve your type in here...' 'Why not?' ask the instrument. 'Well, you're obviously off your rocker.'"

"What is it like to be a woman in comedy? I would say it's 1% jokes & 99% answering this question."

"Why does no one care that space is a vacuum? Oh it doesn't really matter."

"How do you get a post that's not a joke into /r/jokes? Like this."

"Sometimes I run alongside trains, tearfully waving, just so people will think I have a girlfriend."