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Joke of the Day

"Don't say ""ATM machine"". The ""M"" already stands for ""machine"". It's redundant. It's like saying ""end result"" or ""racist Fox News Anchor""."

"You know that you have a terrible sense of humor... when you find that click-baiting is funny"

"I went to the doctor and told him I thought I might be a kleptomaniac. He said, ""Here, take these pills."" So I took them."

"I just watched Discovery's ""How It's Made"" and, honestly, I'm never eating another urinal cake again."

"What's worse that burning the turkey on thanksgiving? Being a starving African Child."

"I always knew that I could never be a lawyer because of my inability to pass a bar."

"People who say 45 minutes past the hour are the same ones who have kids 89 and 63 months old"

"Tarzan's Marriage Why didn't Tarzan and Jane manage to save their marriage? Because Tarzan was swingin' from three to three."

"DIET TIP: Always eat smart. Refuse any food that hasn't scored highly on the SATs and been admitted to an Ivy League school."

"Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station? They were scared of sparks flying."