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Joke of the Day

"I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I kinda liked it."

"If your uncle jack helped you off an elephant Would you help your uncle jack off an elephant?"

"Why did sumo wrestlers start shaving their legs? To stop getting confused as feminists"

"What do you call a horse who likes crackers? Seatriscuit"

"He's Trump, he's Trump, he's Trump, he's a little square. He's Trump, he's Trump, he's Trump, whats with that hair? Wierd Al on politics"

"""What doesn't kill you makes you smaller!"" -ask Super Mario"

"*Asks soulmate* What is your dream car and why? Minivan, because the sliding door <joining in> MAKES IT EASIER FOR DRIVE-BY BAZOOKA ATTACKS"

"Why was the 6 month old Nigerian unhappy? He was having a mid life crisis."

"The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord."

"Went to our annual work party last night... They played 'The Twist' so I twisted. They played 'Jump' so I jumped. Then they played 'Come on Eileen'...I was asked to leave shortly after that."