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Joke of the Day

"The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord."

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"Dildos are like Pokemon cards... No matter how good your collection, it isn't worth anything if you got them sticky."
"Please don't tag me in photos where I'm not wearing my roller skates, I'm looking for a boyfriend."
"I wonder whether Bankruptcy Court would be more fun if they reversed their Rs like Toys R Us."
"My girlfriend wouldn't let me play orchestral music during sex... We eventually came to an arrangement."
"Wipe that smile off your face :"
"What did the bobby (English policeman) say to the hitchhiker with three heads, no arms and one leg? ""'Ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, 'op in."""
"Two fish in a tank One turns to the other and says ""how do you drive this thing?"" Repost from a comment on /r/askreddit"
"I'm amazed football players don't fumble on literally every play. One time I tripped on a curb and both of my shoes fell off."
"what do you call a closet full of lesbians? a liquor closet"