130107

Joke of the Day

"*Asks soulmate* What is your dream car and why? Minivan, because the sliding door <joining in> MAKES IT EASIER FOR DRIVE-BY BAZOOKA ATTACKS"

"What do you call a Dadaist fabric? Man Rayon"

"I've been considering studying abroad... ...but I'm afraid she might notice."

"Barber: What would you like today? Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!"

"This is not a joke. All of the jokes here suck and or are reposts."

"83 yo man, ""You speak pretty good English for a Chinese girl"". Me: ""I'm caucasian"". Him, ""Well, any kind of Asian looks Chinese to me""."

"I've been told I can be a bit condescending. That means I talk down to people."

"There are 2 kinds of people in this world, those who can count and those who cannot count.. I'm the 1st kind of person, I can count."

"COMMERCIAL: [Woman hangs screaming from a light fitting over a gaping abyss] Narrator: FLOORS"

"Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.."