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Joke of the Day

"Went to our annual work party last night... They played 'The Twist' so I twisted. They played 'Jump' so I jumped. Then they played 'Come on Eileen'...I was asked to leave shortly after that."

"I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom. (I worked there my freshman year and had to unclog the toilets.)"

"What do you call a person who speaks three languages Trilingual What do you call a person who speaks 2 languages Bilingual What do you call a person who speaks 1 language American"

"What do you call an ""Asian"" that loves using moisturizer? Laotian."

"In a communist country, what does a woman say to a man before having sex? I want you to seize my means of reproduction."

"What's the most efficient fuel to use when chasing cars? Snow Petrol!"

"I wish that Game of Thrones was on Twitter So George RR had to limit it to less than 140 characters."

"Women reflect on the entire pie while men fixate about eating whatever slice they can get their hands on."

"#1: Checking your phone after someone else pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation."

"Was at a 90s themed party with my girlfriend. She went to get us drinks and was back within seconds. I asked her how she got them so fast. There's no punchline."