85752

Joke of the Day

"Republicans and elections The republicans wanted to have Jesus run for president. The plan had to be aborted though: he had a hole in his hand."

"Teachers at school: She seems to be expressing an inner need for control. Teachers at a bar: I want to punch that kid in the face."

"Your call is very important to us. So please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo."

"Sometimes to take a break from frightening election news, I watch something far less horrifying like 'The Shining' or 'Silence of the Lambs'"

"Wife: he's always confusing sayings... Therapist: what if you're just misinterpreting him? Me: oooh, check you out playing devil's avocado"

"How did the blonde burn her ear? The telephone rang while she was ironing."

"Cw: you have a call holding M: put it in my voicemail Cw: he has a sexy Australian accent M: hiiii this is Jennifer"

"Socialism jokes are only funny if everybody gets them. Its Reality."

"How many friendzoned guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just compliment it and get pissed when it doesn't screw."

"What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two, and now it's a really touchy subject. Edit: I am can't word goodly."