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Joke of the Day

"Cw: you have a call holding M: put it in my voicemail Cw: he has a sexy Australian accent M: hiiii this is Jennifer"

"What was the oak's favorite subject? Chemistree."

"These two blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would have seen it."

"Where do salt lovers go to pray? [OC] The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alaska ! Alaska who ? Alaska my mummy !"

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!"

"What did Archimedes exclaim when he discovered his penis floated in water? URETHRA!"

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger says ""Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..."" the Scottish farmer says ""Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"""

"How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb? One, although it's probably screwed in too tight anyway."

"A study conducted by a group of scientists shows that women that have more than 25% body fat live longer than the men who mention it to them"