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Joke of the Day

"How many friendzoned guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just compliment it and get pissed when it doesn't screw."

"What's the best thing about doing 23 year olds!? There's 20 of them."

"Why is lettuce my favorite vegetable? Just cos."

"What did Obama's dad say when his mom wanted anal? Well they don't call me ""Saddamy"" Hussein for nothing!"

"If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she's practising for her next selfie"

"Did you hear about the redneck family campout? It was fucking intense"

"Did you hear about the latest thing affected by recession? My hairline!"

"A new mint flavored contraceptive taken before sex... called Predickamints."

"Hell is where Sarah Palin is president, Taylor Swift is in love with me, and Kim Kardashian names all the children"

"50 ft ladder. John: ""Shit, I just fell off a 50 ft ladder."" Adam: ""Oh no, are you okay?"" John: ""Yeah it's a good thing I fell off the first step."""