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Joke of the Day

"What do drug dealers sit on? KUSHions please tell me that joke is funny, my girlfriend is trying to tell me that it isn't funny. We all know it is."

"Plunging... ...is like performing CPR on your toilet."

"Don't forget how much dust you're inhaling all the time everywhere."

"When I die, I want my tombstone to read ""He died doing what he loved. Hating whatever he was doing."""

"Did you know John Travolta's home has an airport in it? Too bad, he got the bomb detecting dogs about 7 movies too late."

"giv a man a fish adn he'll say ""wat is this i ordered a mcflurry"" teach a man to fish adn he'll say ""how ar u the manager of this mcdonalds"""

"Most things in life aren't free. HOWEVER if you run fast enough, they are."

"Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?"

"What do you get when you are the daughter of Rodney Dangerfield and Aretha Franklin? No R-E-S-P-E-C-T."

"What's the shittiest dog race? The poo-dle! I'll be seeing myself out :/"