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Joke of the Day

"What do drug dealers sit on? KUSHions please tell me that joke is funny, my girlfriend is trying to tell me that it isn't funny. We all know it is."

"What Did The Man With Leprosy Say To The Hooker? Keep the Tip."

"I bought Fenugreek from a Drug Dealer It was a little *Methi*."

"If your New Year's resolution involves less drinking or cursing, it involves less of me."

"Welcome to our nearly empty restaurant. Please follow me to our shittiest table."

"Canadians are more polite when they are being rude than Americans are when they are being friendly."

"How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end."

"Every morning when the alarm goes off, I wake up & say ""it's time to chase my dreams!"" & then I press the snooze button & go back to sleep."

"I don't do cocaine... I just like the smell."

"I'm in business running a celebrity lookalikes agency... ...I'm trying to acquire some more Chers."