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Joke of the Day

"If your New Year's resolution involves less drinking or cursing, it involves less of me."

"Summer was especially good this year in Canada... If I recall correctly it was a friday"

"What would you call it if Hitler was mad? inFUHRERiated."

"I was going to make an anal joke here.... ...butt fuck it."

"""We're out of options, I'll have to use the jetpack,"" I said, strapping on the jetpack and ignoring many non-jetpack options still available"

"Knock knock Who's there? Owls. Owls who? They certainly do"

"Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he had a boner"

"Why doesn't Mexico have a good Olympic team? Because everyone who is good at running, jumping, and swimming have already made it into the U.S."

"Mass suicide cult leaders are a dying breed"

"Do you know how to convert a dishwasher into an automatic snowplow? Give that bitch a shovel. (I'm not really a sexist pig... But that's still one of my favorite jokes.)"