163748

Joke of the Day

"I'm in business running a celebrity lookalikes agency... ...I'm trying to acquire some more Chers."

"What kind of skin lotion do acrobats use? Cirque d'Olay"

"Wow Monica Lewinski is 50 They grow up so fast. It seems like it was just yesterday, she was crawling around the Oval Office putting everything in her mouth."

"My wife said she would leave me if I didn't stop using Monkee's song references. I thought she was joking. Then I saw her face..."

"How did Mace die in Star Wars? Through the Windu"

"Hilary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected in to office. Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted."

"Q: How do you make a woman angry and sick at the same time? Cholera, bitch."

"*zips up tent* [Wife]: What happened [Me,scratched up & clothes ripped]: I was uh.. *flashback to me being chased by a bee* wrestling a bear"

"How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit."

"I showed up later to dinner yesterday because I was baking a turkey. I'm the turkey. Il see myself to the kitchen table."