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Joke of the Day

"How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end."

"Some people won't stop complaining about Steam's new updates... ... I guess they just can't see the Big Picture. (Just thought of this and wanted to share.)"

"""Good morning, class. Today we are going to learn about diseases. Can anyone give me a sentence containing the word cancer'?"" ""I can, Sir!"""

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire."

"So a seal walks into a bar And the bartender asks ""What can I get for you?"" And the seal replies ""Anything but a Canadian Club on ice."""

"Pilots will get this. RETARD! RETARD!"

"My phone reception is so clear, I can hear my wife's eyes rolling as I talk."

"A Completely Original Joke Oops, I forgot it son-of-a-b***h..!!!"

"What does the bride of a Russian man get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A new last name."

"Let's face it, it's not the first time Germany's sent a bunch of blokes to the showers in tears."