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Joke of the Day

"The last time I wore a red shirt, I went to Target and laid off 8 people in the morning team huddle."

"Why can't you tell secrets in a corn field? ...because there are too many ears."

"You can count on your dog to be the first responder when anything or anyone drops to the floor."

"""i cnat believe this!"" he yells as his beard of bees turns on him. ""i would expect this from the others but not u"" he says to 1 specific bee"

"Why do they make Raisin Bran commercials? For raisin bran awareness."

"Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto? Because he's not a planet."

"The Worst ""F"" Word Finals"

"/r/blackpeopletwitter is still dark /r/blackpeopletwitter"

"[Marriage Counseling] Her: he always mixes two common sayings together that aren't relevant Me: well, blood is thicker than the early bird"

"[answering door on halloween] NEIGHBORHOOD MOM: please stop giving the children hamsters ME *hands full of hamsters*: but it's Halloween"