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Joke of the Day

"You can count on your dog to be the first responder when anything or anyone drops to the floor."

"(For Ents) So the D.E.A filed a report So the D.E.A filed a report about the Old lady who swallowed the Fly. Turns out Flies are a Gateway Bug"

"You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that can't be divided by two."

"Friendly like talking"

"Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury."

"*flips a quarter into jukebox from across room, jukebox spits it back at me, it goes down my throat, ""wake me up before you go-go"" plays*"

"I feel bad for the kids at Sandy Hook... They wanted books but instead they got magazines"

"Whenever I meet a girl with tattoos, I get excited. Because I know she's legal and willing to do stuff she may regret."

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke would get for Christmas? He felt his presents."

"Guys, don't worry, the glass ceiling already broke 78 years ago! It was called Kristallnacht."