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Joke of the Day

"Help me practice my knife throwing skills. You catch."

"Dinosaurs could be a lot prettier if we'd all just admit they had feathers. I mean they would still eat you, but they would do it prettily."

"Let the bodies hit the floor? Ok but first let me put down some plastic this is new carpet I don't want to ruin it my mom will be pissed"

"I ceaselessly seek validation from strangers. No joke, but that's why there would be a joke in the first place."

"What do you call a mexican with no legs? consuelo"

"Yo momma,.. Yo momma is so stupid, that when they play *Do the brown* she thinks its *Dodo brown* and the bitch shits on herself each time."

"I just met someone who was a steam-roller operator. He was such a flatterer."

"What were the polite Egyptians running away from? DaRUDE Sandstorm"

"*84th flr* CW: You look sad, can I cheer you up? M: Heard Van Halen's ""Jump""? CW: Sure! Me: Jump out that window and sing it on the way down"

"One day I will write my autobiography and it will just say ""fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck."" The rest of the pages will be drawings of dicks."