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Joke of the Day

"Let the bodies hit the floor? Ok but first let me put down some plastic this is new carpet I don't want to ruin it my mom will be pissed"

"How can you tell if Chuck Norris ate rabbits the night before? He has claw marks on his forehead."

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms."

"What's the most confusing holiday in the hood? Kwanzaa. I don't think anyone has a clue what that holiday is."

"What's the difference between Jesus and an oil painting? You only need one nail to hold up a picture."

"Where does a general keep his armies? In his sleevies"

"If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch."

"I don't regret burning bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burned them."

"I hate it when people call me contrary. I am *not* contrary!"

"When I smell weed coming from my neighbors house I call him pretending I'm the Mexican Cartel, and accuse him of stealing my drugs."