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Joke of the Day

"*84th flr* CW: You look sad, can I cheer you up? M: Heard Van Halen's ""Jump""? CW: Sure! Me: Jump out that window and sing it on the way down"

"I told you I'll be there in 5 minutes, stop calling me every half an hour!"

"Kylo Ren was more powerful with his helmet on. With it off, he had to use a majority of his power to maintain his hair's body and bounce."

"What do you call it when Usain Bolt is standing next to your mom? A runner in scoring position."

"Which nation doesn't do what it's supposed to do until it's too late? Procrastination!"

"You know guys, ironically, racism is alot like black people... Cuz it shouldn't exist!!!"

"Teachers are sometimes like an alarm clock. They won't shut up when you're trying to sleep."

"Asian women look 16 forever and one day out of nowhere look 159 years old."

"That moment the school calls because 15 was caught drinking at school and it's still the same principal that had to call your parents."

"I've never jumped onto a departing ferry or had a woman adjust my tie from behind me, you movie liars."