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Joke of the Day

"I ceaselessly seek validation from strangers. No joke, but that's why there would be a joke in the first place."

"I overheard someone say all Asians are ninjas. I would've told him how racist that sounded but he was black and I didn't want to get mugged."

"What did one friend say to another on a flight that made him get escorted off of it? (WARNING: PUNNY AS HELL) ""Hi Jack! These airplanes are da bomb!"" how did i do? thought of it a couple days ago."

"Do you know the Greek version of Monopoly? It's called Monopoulos and you just borrow all the money from the bank. Everyone loses."

"I came up with an original word yesterday... ...plagiarism."

"Why can't you see elephants hiding in trees? ...because they are hiding"

"I got stopped in the street today by a woman with a clipboard asking ""What products do I use for grooming?"" She was a bit taken aback when I replied, ""Facebook."""

"when I was 11 my dad saw me using deodorant, laughed, and said ""that's not how you do it."" I never asked him the right way & it haunts me"

"I can sum up my taste in music and my political and religious beliefs in just a few bumper stickers."

"Q: How many Studio Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: We don't know. Light bulbs last longer than studio executives."