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Joke of the Day

"What did the elephant say to the naked guy? That thing sure is cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

"I murder drifters and use their hair to make little dolls. Oh, you meant at work! My biggest weakness is that I'm a perfectionist.'"

"Obama: ""I have no more campaigns to run...because I won both of them"" Biden like 2 years later: LOL OH I GET IT. HES BEEN PRESIDENT FOR TW"

"In my most recent study, Ive found that saying ""I'll have a chicken pot pie, extra pot"" to KFC employees gets a laugh 4 out of 10 times."

"Employer: ""In this job we need someone who is responsible."" Applicant: ""I'm the one you want. On my last job every time anything went wrong they said I was responsible."""

"What's the difference between an apple? A bike because a vest has no sleeves."

"They should make the female swimmers wear a tube top & thong then maybe I'd finish before they did."

"I'm so dependent on the google ""did you mean ____?"" that i barely bother to spell anything even remotely correctly"

"I got a pay rise in my job. At the end of the day, I went to the pub and bought a drink for everyone there. I like to be generous, even if they did feel a bit weird sharing the same pint."

"what is a woman to cant give birth? bruce jenner"