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Joke of the Day

"They should make the female swimmers wear a tube top & thong then maybe I'd finish before they did."

"What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores? Give it two test-tickles."

"Alfred: About your girlfriend Catwoman... Batman: Yes, she's a thief, but- A: No, she pooped on the rug again. Right next to the litter box!"

"Have you heard the one about the butter? Nah, you'll just spread it around."

"What about the man with nobody and no nose? Nobody knows..."

"What do you call a communist video streaming service? Niet-flix."

"what's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"My son asked me to explain what coloring eggs had to do with the story of Easter... ""You see, son, we color Easter eggs to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins."""

"My six replaced the toilet paper roll all on her own and now I'm wondering who her real dad is."

"*walks by HR door for 11th time to see if she's not there so I can take some candy off her desk* HR: Do you need something Josh? me: Nope"