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Joke of the Day

"In my most recent study, Ive found that saying ""I'll have a chicken pot pie, extra pot"" to KFC employees gets a laugh 4 out of 10 times."

"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race."

"Would you like me to make you a hot dog? Yes, please. Poof! You're a hot dog!"

"Why don't you want your nose to be 12 inches long? because then it would be a foot!"

"Captain America: ok Avengers, we can defeat Ultron if we work as a team. Remember, no man is an island Island Man: oh come on not this again"

"How do you make a small fortune in aviation? Start out with a large fortune."

"What's the difference between a Toronto Maple Leafs fan and a 14-year old girl? Nothing. They are both just waiting for the first period to be over."

"At The Nikon Headquarters We need random people in a room to test and sample our new lenses ""A focus group?"" DAMMIT JOHNSON THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKES"

"Ian: It's done. Mafia boss: Did you go anywhere nice? I: What? MB: Like a restaurant. I: I killed him. MB: I said take him out! Oh god, Tim!"

"What is white and square? A ping pong block."