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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an apple? A bike because a vest has no sleeves."

"How do you call a Jamaican mountain? High ground"

"How do dubstep DJs masturbate? They wub one out"

"If you've met someone a few times but still can't remember their name, one trick is to avoid them for the rest of your life."

"And the award for best neckwear goes to... Well, would you look at that... It's a tie."

"I guess you could say Mendeleev's Birthday comes around periodically."

"What's the difference between pedophiles and acne? Acne waits until you're 13."

"[I just barely squeeze thru the elevator doors as they shut, however my chain wallet get caught, ripping my pants off as the elevator rises]"

"What's the worst part of locking your keys in your car outside an abortion clinic? Going in to ask for a coat hanger!"

"How did people know Patrick Stewart was crying? Because he bawled."