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Joke of the Day

"Your wife will always agree to let you go out and get drunk with your friends and as long as you're smart and don't go."

"Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella everywhere he goes? Fo' Drizzle!"

"If I had known what cleaning a toilet is like with a husband and two sons I would've become a lesbian."

"You know what's more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you."

"Deer nuts are cheap they're under a buck."

"What does R. Kelly say to his kids when they do something bad? Urine trouble"

"Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Cindrella?"

"A guy I work with farted on the elevator... It was wrong on so many levels."

"The worst thing about Muhammad Ali sending a ""Tweet"" to Mayweather . . . Ali couldn't type it and Mayweather couldn't read it."

"What do you call a slutty vegan A herbivwhore"