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Joke of the Day

"How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had? He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi..."

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"What is the least attractive binary ionic compound? Iron (II) oxide"
"Dear Smart Phone, I would really wish if you spent more time with me than your Charger"
"Vagina jokes are not funny... Period."
"A baseball walks into Wimbledon. The announcer yells ""Hey, we don't serve your kind"""
"Q: Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly? A: Heredity."
"I grew up Catholic... and one of the things I hated was going to church, with the constant standing up, sitting down and kneeling. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."
"You can tell a lot about someone by the tank top they wear. For instance, if they wear a tank top, they're probably a dick."
"Why is Bieber never late? because he's always justin time"
"My girlfriend tells me her body is a temple Everyone's welcome, but you just have to take your shoes off before you enter."
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