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Joke of the Day

"I grew up Catholic... and one of the things I hated was going to church, with the constant standing up, sitting down and kneeling. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"New studies revealed... ... 9 out of 10 people do not consider bullying to be a great problem."

"sexyaardvark69 [username taken] sexywombat69 [username taken] sexyplatypus69 [username taken] sorry this might take a while..."

"Do you know why the white moves first in Chess? Because if the black moves first, the police will shoot them"

"What do you call a politically powerful shrub in Jamaica? A hegemon."

"The best part of being married with kids is.....is.....umm.....Yeah."

"I ate something evil and it's killing me... I don't know whether to get an ex-lax or an exorcist"

"Did you hear about the contortionist who filed for bankruptcy? He couldn't make ends meet."

"When I blow myself up in a streetside cafe I expect 72 fleshlights in heaven."

"Why was six afraid of seven? Generations of institutionalized bigotry."