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Joke of the Day

"You can tell a lot about someone by the tank top they wear. For instance, if they wear a tank top, they're probably a dick."

"ME: *angrily dragging wife thru the mall* Maybe THIS jewelry store will have one. HER: I don't think you get what a tornado watch is."

"Facebook is terrific way to connect with classmates who haven't aged as well as you."

"Last night was the third time a girl walked out midway a date. Something's still wrong in my PowerPoint presentation."

"Bruce Lee's favorite drink Wataaaaa!!!"

"Boy: What's black slimy with hairy legs and eyes on stalks? Mom: Eat the cookies and don't worry about what's in the tin."

"A Valentines Poem Roses are red Violets are blue Whitney Houston is dead and iiiiiiieeeeiiiii will always love yoooouooooou"

"Knock knock. Who's there? Doorbell technician."

"Why do chicken coops have 2 doors? Because if they had 4 doors they would be called chicken sedans!"

"Got a tan this weekend. Might exchange it for a turquoise."