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Joke of the Day

"My entire life I have never been able to finish anything. Most recent is this punch"

"What is eternity? Two self-conscious guys taking a shit in a public restroom."

"I almost got caught stealing a board game today... but it was a Risk I was willing to take."

"What do you call a Jamaican teacher at Hogwarts? De mentor."

"Why is it so hard to convict horse rapists? Because sometimes neigh means yay."

"What should you know before you teach your dog a new trick? You should know more than your dog."

"I'm really pleased with my new fridge magnet. So far I've got eight fridges."

"Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backward? They like the part where the hooker gives the money back."

"I wrote a theatrical performance on puns Really, it was just a play on words."

"Why won't the honeydew marry the watermelon? Because they cantaloupe.."