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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend tells me her body is a temple Everyone's welcome, but you just have to take your shoes off before you enter."

"Hey girl, how 'bout some head? - Henry VIII"

"I'm circling the auto shop and hoping that my mechanic can hear me yelling, ""BRAKES!""."

"Guy at the gym had ""True Gentleman"" tattooed on his arm. I was about to make fun of him, but he held the door for me as I left. Great guy."

"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair!"

"What did the asian parents call their retarded son? Sum ting wong"

"STOP HONKING! IF I DRIVE ANY FASTER THE TINY LIZARD THAT HITCHED A RIDE ON MY HOOD IS GONNA FALL TO HIS DEATH. HAVE SOME COMPASSION, PEOPLE."

"My husband and I have been in an open marriage for five years. I hope he's ok with it when he finds out."

"*Jesus drinking at a bar* *jesus orders another drink* ""jesus you're too drunk I can't give you anymore"" Kan I jst haev a water? ""nice try"""

"An unsung legacy of Bill Clinton's presidency is that since he left office, no sitting President has shot a load on a non-spouse."