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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why does Chelsea look so stupid and ugly? A: Heredity."

"I like my women like my wine, 12 years old and Locked in a cellar Edit: u wot m8 I fixed grammar"

"It's a good thing Gatorade was invented at the University of Florida and not Florida State University. Because then it would be Seminole fluid."

"Meteorologist: According to our facts, we'll have a longer winter- People: LET THE GROUNDHOG DECIDE Meterologist: But science People: NO"

"At my age getting lucky means having the house to myself"

"I've been married a long time, but I bet first dates are still the same. Lots of awkward arguments about Reaganomics."

"I just found out that my sweater was made by indonesian slave children And i must say they did a wonderful job"

"The most courageous thing a TV show can do now is keep all its characters alive."

"age 1: goo googa age 2: im a babada da age 3: thank god i can finally speak. listen, i've been observing u for 3 years now. what are u doing"

"The police never think its as funny as you do."