8442

Joke of the Day

"[Self-Checkout] ME: also I ate a donut in the store MACHINE: Place the item on the belt ME: I can't because I ate it MACHINE: Place the"

"I didn't believe my friend that you can't get big muscles without supplements ... Turns out it's the only whey"

"My girlfriend thinks that I can't cook, but as soon as I figure out how much Play-Doh is supposed to go in meatloaf, I'll prove her wrong."

"[at a fancy restuarant] WIFE: make sure u leave a good tip ME: ok [writing on bill] ""only evolve ur pokemon when uve activated a lucky egg"""

"I know its slightly distasteful but, what's the best way to punish a blind kid? rearrange the furniture"

"I bet we can get into some serious Treble together."

"Accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles last night My next shit could spell trouble"

"What kind of sick fuck figured out that you can make a cake out of carrots?"

"What was Hitler's favorite letter? Not z!"

"The trouble with kids these days... ...is that they can't even."