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Joke of the Day

"[at a fancy restuarant] WIFE: make sure u leave a good tip ME: ok [writing on bill] ""only evolve ur pokemon when uve activated a lucky egg"""

"What do you call a stampede that runs in circles? NASCOW"

"Which sex position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your parents."

"What do you call a Dothraki mathematician? A Khal culator."

"What did the blind, paraplegic kid get for his christmas? ..cancer"

"What's White and Sticky? Glue."

"'Let's just agree to disagree.' -Me, saying grace at the dinner table."

"Wanna hear a joke? ""Why did the chicken cross the road?"" ""Why?"" ""To get to the house of the ugliest human on the planet. Wanna hear another joke? Knock-knock...."" ""Who's there?"" ""Buc-buc-bucaaaaaw!"""

"There are a lot of deadbeat dads out there trying to make up for lost time by ""liking"" their grown children's facebook updates."

"Today in 1956 the first videotape recording was made. Your mom was young and needed the money."