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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do you get when you cross a camera with a mirror? A: A camera that takes pictures of itself."

"Billions of years from now, Star Jones will expand and collapse in a brilliant explosion of cosmic matter and become Black Hole Jones."

"My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded"

"We decided to go out for bbq tonight. As it turns out, I'm too immature to discuss how to smoke your meat with strangers."

"Yo mama is so fat that when she walked in front of the TV, I missed 3 seasons of Breaking Bad"

"To all the chicks on Twitter who complain about never getting laid, turn your location on."

"My girlfriend and I were fighting in the car We glared at eachother and I thought neither of us would back down, but in the end we struck an Accord."

"What do you call a kid with two gay black dads? An orphan."

"Me: Can I have a Batmobile? Santa: Be realistic. Me: Ok, pass my Masters & get a good job? Santa: I'll leave the Batmobile in the garage."

"ME: Do ghosts wear condoms DENTIST: How are you still awake"