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Joke of the Day

"Billions of years from now, Star Jones will expand and collapse in a brilliant explosion of cosmic matter and become Black Hole Jones."

"I'm more of an amateur bater. I agree, I need more practice."

"Police officer stops a speeding car and asks the driver.... Police officer: ''Can you identify yourself, sir?'' Driver(pulling out his mirror): ''Yeah, it's me.''"

"People always tell me not to piss in the shower... ...but you know, it's difficult not to when you're taking a shit"

"If we elect Donald Trump for president... There will be hell toupee"

"Lots of road accidents are caused by bad weather It snow joke"

"A friend asked me what's my best American impression... ""I don't want to go to the doctor because it's too expensive."""

"If you read the entire dictionary technically you've read every book but out of order."

"A load of geese caused a massive pile up on my way to work, What a bunch of flocking idiots."

"I got a handjob from a blind girl and she told me I had the biggest dick she'd ever felt. She was pulling my leg."