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Joke of the Day

"To all the chicks on Twitter who complain about never getting laid, turn your location on."

"[Job Interview] ""It says in your CV that you are quick at mathematics. What is 17 X 19?"" ""36"" ""That's not even close"" ""But it was quick"""

"Happy Father's Day or, mass confusion, if you live in Harlem."

"What do they call a whore's fart? A Prosti-Toot"

"I had a terrible nightmare last night that I ate a muffler. Today, I'm so exhausted."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know yet. My Basement is still dark."

"Be sure that you go straight home after school I can't I live just round the corner !"

"I left my Adderral in my Ford Fiesta I came back to a Ford Focus"

"revolting SERVANT: Ms. Pao, the Redditors are revolting! PAO: Well, you're not so pretty yourself..."

"Why was Saint Peter so good at basketball? He denied Jesus 3 times"